Everyone has been there. You can’t seem to keep up. You are ALWAYS exhausted. You don’t have the energy to do the things you normally can to improve your life, like go to the gym or hang out with friends. You are burning the candle at both ends. If you are feeling burnt out lately, I thought I would share a list of how I avoid burn out.
Burnout is becoming quite common, especially because a large percentage of Millennials are working full-times jobs and have side hustles. It can be exhausting! I should be honest, I am the burn out QUEEN. Only recently have I decided that I really need to get hold of this burn out factor in my life to achieve ultimate balance for high vibrational living and superior well-being.
- Unhealthy conversations regularly with negative people that don’t bring out the best in you
Surround yourself with people that will have healthy dialogue with you. There is this saying, “you are who you hang out with”… #TRUTH. If you don’t like who your friends are, then you need to ditch them and find people that reflect who you want to be in this world. People that have you wanting to #LEVELUP! When we have unhealthy conversations with people that don’t bring out the best in us, it hurts our growth and fills us with negative vibrations that only attract more negativity. It is okay to have conversations with people that are struggling. But if they are not making decisions to change their life and continue to not take advice or steps to change, you will find that draining to listen to. Same goes for you. If you continue to get advice and not act upon it, you will burn out from the negativity of it all.
- Spending time doing things that don’t spark joy
This is why so many people feel burnt out at their work. They may be doing a job they are not in love with. If this is you, MAKE A CHANGE!!!! So many of us live in fear. Money and fear go hand in hand. I am here to tell you that making changes to a career that you will love will drastically improve your life. Also, if you don’t want to do something. DON’T DO IT!!!!! If you were to die tomorrow, can you honestly say you made the best of the last day? Or the last five years? MAKE A CHANGE!!!! Make your happiness a priority.
- A need to change things you cannot control
I am so guilty of this one. I am a fixer and a doer. Sometimes that is not enough. We need to accept situations as they are and find ways to make them work – instead of fighting them. There is this saying, “there may be a fork in the river, you might really want to go right, but the river really wants to take you left,” there is no fighting with fate. Sometimes life will drag you one way and you must accept and adapt. The sooner you can come to terms with reality, the sooner you can make changes to get to where you want to be. There is always a Plan B and Plan C.
- Poor time management skills
Prioritize your life. Every day I write down three things I need to accomplish. Instead of trying to get everything done, manage your day so that it is easy to accomplish. Also take accountability for things that are time wasters or energy drainers. For example, delete your social media apps for the day!
- Unrealistic expectations of yourself or perfectionism
I am also soooo guilty of this. I have such OCPD (obsessive compulsive perfectionist disorder). I am such a perfectionist – and it used to ruin my life. This is a trigger for my bipolar disorder – the need to be perfect in every aspect of my life. I fixate on things for way too long. I have been working hard to accept that everything in life does not have to be perfect. Being perfect is OVERRATED and IMPOSSIBLE! The sooner you realize it’s okay to make mistakes and prioritize your effort into the task that really matter, the sooner you will feel sane. It is okay to let some effort go in things. That saying, “how do you anything is how you do everything.” WRONG!!!! You do not have to do everything in your life perfectly.
- Lack of balance in your roles in life from work, home, and relationships
This is one of THE MOST over-looked areas in our lives that have women going cray cray. I think we as women, specifically, feel the need to be caretakers and perfect. Cook, clean, entertain… And now that women are most in the work force there has been a shift in roles and women are still expected to have their shi*t together in all categories across the board while working 40-5o hours a week. You need to look at your life and see where the balance is. If you are working 50+ hours a week towards your own business and working or going to school, stop cleaning! Or stop cooking! Get your partner to do it! OR, hire a service to assist if the work time is more valuable! It is okay as a woman to not do everything in every aspect. If you ask me, I am perfectly fine with my future partner doing the domestic housework and watching my kids and not working if I can have the freedom to work full time (with the right income of course). Find harmony and balance in your roles. You are not responsible to be the glue in your household.
- Not taking enough time for alone time and reflection
Whether you are an introvert, extrovert or a mix of both (ambivert), you need alone time. Period. We need alone time to realign with ourselves. That can look like a lot of different things. Reading a book. Getting your nails done. Going to yoga class. You need alone time and this is a HUGE priority. Self-care will allow you to be your best self. As Oprah says, we need to fill our cup up first so we can overflow and share with others. OR, on an airplane they say, “put your oxygen mask on before assisting others”. You are not helping anyone if you can’t help yourself.
- Not having a sounding board or support system.
If you are finding that you lack in the support area of your life, it is time to find people that can unconditionally listen to you. Sometimes this means paying for it. I have recently been visiting a life coach and therapist because I need that sounding board! A close friend or family member that does not judge you, is also completely acceptable. Stuff happens in life, and you need to have a safe space to work through it!! Keeping emotions to yourself is toxic and unhealthy. To achieve equilibrium and balance in our lives, we need to be able to talk about the issues we have in our lives so that we can identify emotions and resolve them! Pent up emotions are draining when they come with unmet needs!